I came out and the world didn't stop spinning.

[peaceiseasy]

I like to tell this story because it effects so many men today. Awhile ago I decided to come out of the closet. I had been living the DL lifestyle almost my entire life. (I'm now 26.) At the time I hadn't dated a female in 2 years and I was dating a guy. We were both very DL but he started to become too DL even for me. He was paranoid about everything and pretty soon started to become a hermit, which I couldn't deal with. The final straw came when My aunt (who raised me) kept asking when I was going to get married and find a nice girl to settle down with and I told her I didn't know. She started hounding me and I told her I was Bi. She wasn't devastated like I thought she would be but she told EVERYBODY and I do mean EVERYBODY. I thought to myself my life is over. The folks on my job started acting funny, my boys didn't want to hang around me and some of my family members made it their business to point it out everytime I was around. All my worst fears realized. I didn't realize that I had a choice though. I got to a point were I said fuck it. I quit my job and found a new one that paid me more money, so fuck what my ex coworkers had to say. I dropped all my boys who I realized weren't my boys after all. I thought back to all the times we gay bashed and clowned gay men and it just seemed so stupid. After all I had done for them they didn't wanna fuck with me because I fucked with men? Naw I got rid of them and found some new friends. As for the fam, when you get older you realize fam is not everything. Yeah they are your blood but sometimes water is thicker than blood when blood turns on you. Looking back I wouldn't change anything. You learn who loves you for you and who's friends with you unconditionally. Glad I'm out and wouldn't go back.

Man if your friends and family don't love you unconditionally cut them loose. Your life will be better without them than with them.

[Contra Mundum]

Yeah. I dont understand the people who are independent and still feel the need to please the people close to them that dont accept them for who they are.


I would have had to give it to the aunt real RAW.

But as for everything else, good job.

[Thakidd1]

Congratulations on life....Im quite happy for you....Im glad that the fam didn't straight go crazy and your life has turned out to be even better!!

[peaceiseasy]

Yeah. I dont understand the people who are independent and still feel the need to please the people close to them that dont accept them for who they are.


I would have had to give it to the aunt real RAW.

But as for everything else, good job.

Oh yeah me and my aunt had a long talk about spreading other folks business. I mentioned how she raised me and I wasn't blind or deaf and there was some shit I knew I'm sure she didn't want getting out. She changed her tune.

As for the independence thing man I feel so fucking free. Fuck what somebody else has to say I'm a grown ass man. You don't like it you can be replaced.

[Contra Mundum]

I havent came "OUT" . .but I start to feel that freedom more and more as I meet people and I'm not ashamed to be out with them. Its definitely gradual, but from last year and today I feel like a new person.

I see it as. . you dont pay my bills. . you cant do nothing for me. . and you gonna have to come hard to whoop my ass. . so who gives a fuck what you think about me.

[meATL]

I like to tell this story because it effects so many men today. Awhile ago I decided to come out of the closet. I had been living the DL lifestyle almost my entire life. (I'm now 26.) At the time I hadn't dated a female in 2 years and I was dating a guy. We were both very DL but he started to become too DL even for me. He was paranoid about everything and pretty soon started to become a hermit, which I couldn't deal with. The final straw came when My aunt (who raised me) kept asking when I was going to get married and find a nice girl to settle down with and I told her I didn't know. She started hounding me and I told her I was Bi. She wasn't devastated like I thought she would be but she told EVERYBODY and I do mean EVERYBODY. I thought to myself my life is over. The folks on my job started acting funny, my boys didn't want to hang around me and some of my family members made it their business to point it out everytime I was around. All my worst fears realized. I didn't realize that I had a choice though. I got to a point were I said fuck it. I quit my job and found a new one that paid me more money, so fuck what my ex coworkers had to say. I dropped all my boys who I realized weren't my boys after all. I thought back to all the times we gay bashed and clowned gay men and it just seemed so stupid. After all I had done for them they didn't wanna fuck with me because I fucked with men? Naw I got rid of them and found some new friends. As for the fam, when you get older you realize fam is not everything. Yeah they are your blood but sometimes water is thicker than blood when blood turns on you. Looking back I wouldn't change anything. You learn who loves you for you and who's friends with you unconditionally. Glad I'm out and wouldn't go back.

Man if your friends and family don't love you unconditionally cut them loose. Your life will be better without them than with them.

So very true. People are not hardly as intrested in who we're fucking as we wanna think they are. At a certain point the DL thing just becomes corny, and half these dudes who claim they're on the DL, by definition, aren't. If you're 25+ still talking about you're on the DL then you need to have a parent/teacher conference with God and see what's up. On the flip side, a lot of young niggaz just don't know any better, and still live at home, etc. so you can't expect them to be jumping all out the closet. And then there are folks in the middle who aren't gay homophobes but still aren't OUT and I think that's healthy, lol. But I do wish more dudes would have the balls to just jump out there with some new shit.

Thanks for sharing your story.

[Gully Boy]

Good post. I'm out and I have an "I don't give a fuck what you think" attitude about it. As yellow said, when you are independent as in you stay on your own and pay for your own shit, there is nothing anyone can say to you and thats the way I like it. As for what I do in my own house and who I do it with, I dare a mofo to step outta line with me. I refuse to not be who I am when all these foolish straight folks get to act and carry on however they damn well please.

[bamasexxi]

Insecurity plagues so many of us. It's nice to know that you have discovered self love and as a result can demand that others treat you with love. Keep pressing forward.

[peaceiseasy]

Insecurity plagues so many of us. It's nice to know that you have discovered self love and as a result can demand that others treat you with love. Keep pressing forward.

Thanks man its a hard road to travel but well worth it in the end.

[5th_Dimension]

That is so excellent that your weer able to keep the train moving so smoothly!!!! It's kinda hard for men to do that!!!!